Really lovely morning in a gorgeous coffee shop chatting with a friend of a friend about children on the spectrum. Why is it that everyone I know with children on the spectrum recognises that Mr12 is on there too straight away just from a few things I say, but that the professionals that we have come across don’t?!!
I often find that I will say Mr12 did this or that and they will be nodding and saying ‘Oh yes, mine does that too!’
I am so ready for this review….labels are necessary for people to see that there is nothing ‘wrong’ with them, that they aren’t just doing things to be annoying. But it isn’t an excuse for bad behaviour either..it is a reason for some though! For example, if, as a parent, I choose to have a concrete doorstop in my house, then I should know that there will come a point when it will be used to put it into the door, that a doorstop shaped hole will appear. Well, we have a hole in our door…it could have been worse. I shall look on it as a war wound. We should probably get it fixed but sometimes it serves as a reminder that temper needs controlling. Not in a ‘rub your face in it’ type way but as a kind of physical post it note…..’tempers can damage the house…avoid if possible!’
Maybe I will make it into a sign. We have lots of thoise up around the house. We used to have loads when Mr 12 was young but kind of tailed off a bit. It was in the wilderness years when we felt resigned to the fact that the professionals were not saying he was on the spectrum so we should try to get him to conform. We can’t, of course, so the signs are back . Some of them are even laminated (go me!!) to prevent easy destruction……although Mr 10 probably feels like cutting a few up sometimes!! A kind of silent protest on his behalf…’I am here too, stop hogging all the energy’ kind of thing. I really feel for him. Having a big brother who is like a volcano waiting to erupt can be equally as difficult as being the volcano yourself. We are trying to think about how we can help him too….so much thinking…it’s no wonder my head hurts..no wonder I need to talk about it!